July 17, 2015

And then my heart broke

9 years, 2 months and 5 days is the magic number. That's how long my Superdog was in my life.

Yesterday I had to let go of him. Just three months ago I found out that we were dealing with some serious health issue, knowing this would eventually be Superdogs end. Of course he was battleing these issues for many more months, but he didn't show earlier. Yesterday was the end of the rope. Even two hours before our appointment at the vet, I didn't think I would come home alone. Therefore everything in our home was prepared for him to come back. There is water in his dish, I bought some treats earlier in the day and there is bloody meat in the fridge. But rest assure he was having fun right up until he got the injection. He carried his leash around the vets office and made sure we knew where the treats for him were.

9 years, 2 months and 5 days passed by so very quickly. Thanks to my big boy, I met my closest friends. He structured my daily life. He deserved the name Superdog like nobody else. Superdogs real name was actually Karlsson. I love that name. And if you knew him, you would realize just how perfect that name was for him. How perfect he was. He could smile, you know. I can count on ten fingers how often he barked and I need even less fingers to count how often he got into a fight. He wanted to be pet by everybody. If you would give in, he would throw himself at your feet, open up his legs so you could reach his belly. Or he would push himself through your legs, so you would be able to scratch his back. He could never get enough. He could also not get enough of water. Of ice cream (vanilla in a cup). Or his own bags. He loved carrying things. I loved the smell of his paws and of his ears. There is a little bald spot right where the ears start. I cannot tell you how often I just inhaled that smell. Even more so the last weeks. I wanted to inhale every smell of him. Remember how he felt and looked like.

After 9 years, 2 months and 5 days our home is empty now. I lost my trusted companion and right now I feel lost.


Super Mom said...

Ach man,
Blöder Mist. Es tut mir sehr leid. Hilft wahrscheinlich nix. Es freut mich, dass er so gut drauf war. U du warst bei ihm.
Ich drück dich ganz fest.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss!

Bug hugs!

nähmarie said...

oh yvonne. das tut mir sehr leid! neun jahre, zwei monate und 5 tage sind einfach nicht lang genug. :'(

Aga - Passion shake said...

I'm so sorry for your loss dear Yvonne. I remember the time when I lost my dog after 14 years and I know that words won't make it easier right now. But think for a minute that Karlsson is in a better place with all the other lost friends and that it's only until we all meet again. That's what I believe in. Big hug.

Anya Jensen said...

I'm so sorry Yvonne - I know how special he was :)) hugs A xx

tina @ colourliving said...

I've never had a pet so cannot even begin to imagine what it must be/feel like.

I know how much Karlsson meant to you and I love this post! I hope the memories will live on forever and that he will still be looking out for you, just from somewhere else:-)

Feel hugged and I'm always here for you. x

Jocelyn Hefner said...

Yvonne, thank you for being so honest in your writing. Superdog is still very special and I have to believe he is carrying his leash today wherever he is in that sacred place of the most high. I have tears in my eyes as I write this....you are both so loved, don't ever forget that.

Your friend,


Tanja Gammer said...

Ach Gott, das tut mir so leid :(
Es gibt eigentlich nie die richtigen Worte für so einen Verlust.

shoegirl said...

This makes me cry so hard. As you know, we are struggling with our Bailey-dog's health and while I can only hope the surgery and chemo will help extend her life a bit, who knows just how long that will be. She is also nine-and-a-half and so full of life and fun and energy (she unfortunately is a barker, but will lick your face off the minute she knows you are a friend). These crazy beasts are so special, such Superdogs, as I'm certain Karlsson was, it's hard to imagine our families without them. I send virtual hugs from Berlin and hope that all your wonderful memories of him will help fill at least a little of the void he has left behind.