September 14, 2011


 You see this screen shot? It says that my e-mail has been sent.

By clicking the "sent"button my application landed in the inbox of two people at my dream company. I'm sick to my stomach and I want my application back.
Not that I don't have confidence in my application. I really do. But I can't take being rejected.

Let me tell you something personal. When I was 16 years old I lived in Louisiana and after returning to Germany I had to finish school. After school I lived in Massachusetts as an au-pair. When I returned everthing looked so promising. I went to college to study law. And somehow between the age of 22-28 I lost my way. And somehow lost myself, too.
I realized law is not what I wanted to do with my life, to pay for college I worked in pr agencies and wrote for a men magazine. I dropped out of school and moved all over the country to work here and there. Not knowing wha I would do after 6 months. Most of the contracts were for 6 months only.

I regretted very quickly not having a degree, personally and professionally. But I thought I could do it anyway. Whatever "it" meant. Well I couldn't do it.

Three years ago I started my German Blog (Pistazien und Zuckerwatte). I worked at a lawyers office. Making copies and writing texts. It hardly covered my bills.
No degree, no idea what to do. Almost getting married, because I thought I couldn't do any better (don't ask!). Don't get me started on my financial situation. And it didn't look like it would change anytime soon. I gained a lot of weight.
I enjoyed blogging so much, that I kept telling people I want to be a professional blogger. I became so very interested in social media and everything around it. I trained myself in social media. I enjoy a good campaign. I love to see how fans communicate with a company or a brand. By coincidence I got a job in this field. And I decided to get my degree. With 30 years I got my life back on track. I created a promising future for myself. Now with 33 years I'm very close in harvesting my fruits.

This is the very first time in my life that I am in reach for my dream job with my dream company. Remember when you dreamed of wanting to work at Vogue or make an award winning movie or be a journalist for National Geographic or another dream job? And you realized you had to get that training and learn these skills?
Same thing here. I made sure, I got the skills, I got the training. So I went for it and send the letter today.

I know I shouldn't get worked up about this, so I won't be too disappointed. Well, I'm not like that. I also understand, that if I should be rejected the world will still turn. But I will be crushed.

Dream big or go home, right?

If you have a second, please keep you fingers crossed for me.

I will keep you posted.

Do you have a dream you went after or still going after? Tell me about it. How did it work out?


Paul & Paula ★ said...

all fingers I have are crossed and I am prepared for some Champagne in October :)

Milk Woman said...

Following your dreams is what makes you live. Wanting what's best for you, even with some mistakes along the way, it's natural,
I also have my dream, I try to work on it every day and some days are better than others.
Positive thinking and believe in you. Never mind about what the others say!!
You go, girl!!! Also want some champagne in October!

Melanie said...

Fingers are crossed so much that it already hurts ;) but I keep crossing and holding! ;))
Reaching out for your dreams is the only way to make them come true I guess...
Ahhh I'm nervous now myself - can't wait to hear news from you on this! Good luck!

Svenja said...

When reading your story it was a bit like reading my own (just that I'd not had it written down.yet). I do have a degree though, but cannot do anything with it. Now am still in the "dunno where I shall go" part and hope, inspiration is around the corner only waiting for me :-) The thing is, I do not quite know what my dream job will be, and that's where it comes down to (I guess). I thought I'd found it last month and actually got rejected.
Holding my fingers crossed for you!!


PS: I am also a German girl, just living a bit beyond Hamburg (close to Denmark, aka worlds end or wilderness)