By clicking the "sent"button my application landed in the inbox of two people at my dream company. I'm sick to my stomach and I want my application back.
Not that I don't have confidence in my application. I really do. But I can't take being rejected.
Let me tell you something personal. When I was 16 years old I lived in Louisiana and after returning to Germany I had to finish school. After school I lived in Massachusetts as an au-pair. When I returned everthing looked so promising. I went to college to study law. And somehow between the age of 22-28 I lost my way. And somehow lost myself, too.
I realized law is not what I wanted to do with my life, to pay for college I worked in pr agencies and wrote for a men magazine. I dropped out of school and moved all over the country to work here and there. Not knowing wha I would do after 6 months. Most of the contracts were for 6 months only.
I regretted very quickly not having a degree, personally and professionally. But I thought I could do it anyway. Whatever "it" meant. Well I couldn't do it.
Three years ago I started my German Blog (Pistazien und Zuckerwatte). I worked at a lawyers office. Making copies and writing texts. It hardly covered my bills.
No degree, no idea what to do. Almost getting married, because I thought I couldn't do any better (don't ask!). Don't get me started on my financial situation. And it didn't look like it would change anytime soon. I gained a lot of weight.
I enjoyed blogging so much, that I kept telling people I want to be a professional blogger. I became so very interested in social media and everything around it. I trained myself in social media. I enjoy a good campaign. I love to see how fans communicate with a company or a brand. By coincidence I got a job in this field. And I decided to get my degree. With 30 years I got my life back on track. I created a promising future for myself. Now with 33 years I'm very close in harvesting my fruits.
This is the very first time in my life that I am in reach for my dream job with my dream company. Remember when you dreamed of wanting to work at Vogue or make an award winning movie or be a journalist for National Geographic or another dream job? And you realized you had to get that training and learn these skills?
Same thing here. I made sure, I got the skills, I got the training. So I went for it and send the letter today.
I know I shouldn't get worked up about this, so I won't be too disappointed. Well, I'm not like that. I also understand, that if I should be rejected the world will still turn. But I will be crushed.
Dream big or go home, right?
If you have a second, please keep you fingers crossed for me.
I will keep you posted.
Do you have a dream you went after or still going after? Tell me about it. How did it work out?